When I sat down to write, my mind was set to post my September round up. I was going to talk about the lovely month I had and my favourite moments but when my fingers touched the keyboard, I didn’t want to type it out.
Over the last few months, things have changed. I’ve disconnected from the blogosphere and it is not something I intended on. I write less, I read less and I don’t feel like a blogger any more.
I started Wanderlust Pulse in 2015 to document my travels and #replife. The reason I started the blog was for no other reason other than to have a record of my experiences and a portfolio of travel writing I could possibly use when rep life came to an end.
Somewhere in the journey, the lines got blurred and I stopped writing for me. I started writing for likes and for comments. It is hard to see the success of other bloggers and not want to aim for it yourself. Through that, I lost the love.
I spent too much time hashtagging to gain Instagram likes, I spent too much effort commenting on blog posts I really couldn’t give a shit about in the hopes of a comment back, I spent too much energy rolling my eyes at blog pods I really didn’t want to be in.
Instead of just enjoying moments and days, at some point you start looking at it as would this make good blog content or a good Insta snap. Every moment becomes a photo opportunity or a story when your a blogger. Not always a bad thing but if you’re snapping and doing things for the likes rather than your own enjoyment or memories, something is wrong.
Since moving back to the UK, everything has changed. I no longer live a cool life of travelling abroad, I live a normal life with a 9 to 5 job. It sounds incredibly boring but do you know something? I’ve never been happier.
I really tried to maintain the blog when I returned but it didn’t come naturally. Anything I wrote or attempted to write was forced. I stopped wanting to document all my tales for the public. I stopped wanting to share my favourite moments with strangers. Instead of forcing it and being fake, I just stopped.
My fingers have been twitchy and I miss writing but every time I even thought about posting an update, it didn’t feel right.
I’ve had some incredible days that have been all the more amazing because I’ve just lived them rather than overthinking what would make a cool blog post.
I’ve lost that part of me that wants to share my life with everyone and now I just want to be for me, for my family and for my friends.
It’s tricky to write when you’ve been a closed book. I love blogging for the honesty and bloggers for being open. I adore cute and quirky stories, I appreciate the raw and real posts but I just don’t feel like sharing my stories and posts.
I just don’t know what to write at the moment and I don’t want to be fake. I hope I’ll find a love for blogging again but if not, that’s ok. We had a good run and at the end of the day, if I’m living and loving every moment, I don’t care if it’s typed and I don’t care if it is shared, I only care for the moment and the memory.
All opinions are my own and just that: opinions. This blog post was not sponsored or endorsed in any way.